Ok, so here's the deal...I was in London again, and I decided to get some random sex, so as usual I went to this amazing bathhouse i go to a lot, the usual happened, where since I didnt go at the popular time there were few hot ones and a good amount of fat "sugadaddies"...iew. So I was eye fucked ever since I got in my towel, there was this really hot guy posing beside a private prison cell thingi who was giving me bright light signal of the "I-want-your-cock-and-ass" nature, so I gave him the "cheeky-monkey smile", but that twat decided that he was gonna play hard to get, so naturally my ego was like "WTF??! Who does he think he is" so to vex him i decided that I was gonna do my charity fuck that day (for the straight readers, a charity fuck is when you do someone fat or ugly for good karma, it makes them feel good and makes you feel like you did your charity for the year) Now I usually do four charity fucks a year (the average homostandard is one, and is in pride week), so I picked this older man, white hair and with a bit of a belly, I was like whatever, just do it.

I was in one of the prison cell thingis and he was at another, and there were like bars separating us, all kinky and delightful etc etc. So the old dude sticks is hand in and I give him my cock which he fondles (I seriously felt molested, but I sucked it up--cant be good for my hed now that I think of it). So he puts his cock through the bars, and I proceed to satisfy him orally (Im good, I know its arrogant to say so, but its true, I havent met anyone thats better than me yet). The old man (code name Santa) breaks the sacred code of silence in bathhouses and asks if he can come to me, I'm like whatever so I nod to hm (I should have taken the breach of etiquette as foreshadowing) so he comes in and Santa like proceeds to hug me, I was like WTF (In my head of course) but I let him, like whatever turns him on. Santa then comes!!! HE CAME!! I just touched him!! I was like whatever, maybe this happens when your older. So he like steers me out of the prison cell thingi and into a private floor bed thingi (I loved how Mr. Hard to Get was looking at me with a shocked and frustrated expression...I hope he got blue balls)

So I lay on the floor, and he is near me (very old men have very sagging balls), so I wanted to do my magic on him, take him around the world etc etc...So I put my head between his legs and proceeded to suckle skillfully, in like a fraction of a second he came again!! and got my head away from him, and brought me closer (Now I was refusing to kiss him, that was just nasty so I kept giving him my neck), I was confused by then, so I put my hand to his package to wank him, and he came again!!! He then said: "No, dont, just lie down on me"...Ok, this is where any sane person would have run away!!! I was like (in stupid liberal logic): "Ok, maybe this is some new fetish you didnt discover yet, just play along with it, you could learn something" he then put my head on his shoulder and started to pet me and say "there there, you are safe now, shhhh, you are safe" HE WAS TREATING ME LIKE A BABY!! and I was just lying on him with my head freaking out!!! So I tried to put my dick between his thighs, I thought maybe he was a bottom (he had a massive 10 incher btw), he said no, and then he said: Yes, you want to make passionate latin love, but no, this is Amore, I will teach you Amore (pronounced Amoray), my mind automatically snapped and said to me: if he gets too freaky knee him in the naked sagging nuts!

He then started stroking my hair, and whispered to me: You are like poetry, your lips are painted by the brushes of the gods, your eyes are wells of mystery, my silent lover, such perfect lips, such perfect eyes, such a strong nose, the face of a god, my david (I WAS FLIPPING OUT HARDCORE, but still morbidly curious) So I made to leave, and he grabs me, and slams me to the padded floor, and then lays down on me!! I felt like crying, I was like: "I don't want to get strangled again" (long story) so he cuddles on me like a baby, and starts suckling his thumbs and making these queer baby noises and then he said: "hold me" so out of a strange curiosity to what this freak was going at, I did that, after forever, he sighed deeply and sat between my thighs, and starting dry fucking my thighs. He suddenly stopped and looked at me and sighed, and his face had this strange covetous expression, like that of a childless parent staring at an orphaned baby. He then sighed again and started barking!! THE FREAK BARKED AT ME!! Like a small dog bark!! I was looking at him wide eyed and for the first time in my life lost my wood, I swear I thought I was getting stabbed. He then asked me in a really soft voice what I did, and I said I was a student, out of curiosity I asked what he did (I expected an english professor or something, because he had a very cultured accent) he answered that he just traveled around...HE WAS A TRAMP!!! A CULTURED TRAMP THAT BARKED!!! (At this point I hated myself for my curiosity and started planning my escape).

After another moment of sweet talking and fondling, he sat up again smiling, started barking, and really suddenly jabbed his hands under my armpits!! (IT HURTS BTW!!) so I kneed him in the nuts and I ran out screaming HES A FREAK!! two circuit fairies went to check him out. Now I was so traumatized that I went straight to the bar and ordered a double vodka, a second freak was sitting in front of me and started to eye fuck me, then flashed his jewels and started playing with his balls, I seriously felt like crying, my body just fet so invaded, as if all they wanted was too eat me up, I hated it, it was as if I didnt even own myself. So I just ran off to the shower, and the barking tramp followed me there!!! He stood there licking his lips and playing with his cock while I showered!! The two fairies (if you by any chance read this, thank you!!) started talking to him and questioning him so I ran away to the lockers. Now I was dressing in a hurry, but while still drying this fat guy comes up to me (must be in his 40's) he was such a fucking predator! He just invited himself to play with my cock!!! He was like: "Whoever did this circumcision is an artist" so wanting to scare him away I said: "Yah, he fucked me when I was seven" HE JUST LICKED HIS LIPS!!! I now was so frustrated I felt like crying!! so he dropped to his knees and started to suck me!! I just wanted to leave, so I said: "listen I really have to leave, I'm late, I'm so sorry" so he looks at me and stands up still playing with my cock, and he says: "Listen, I am very rich, and I am very connected, why dont you come to my town house" so I just answered "sorry, Im very late" he answers: let me buy you all the pretty things you ever wanted" (ok, now I got pissed off and my pride was hurt) so I answered him while putting on my very expensive designer clothes (to his pure shock): "listen you arrogant fuck, I dont give a shit the money you have, I can most likely buy you over a million times, if I wanted I will invite you to one of my two center of town duplex apartments or to my estate at the outskirts of the city" I swear I saw the read creep up his face, so this slick I dont know what just started mumbling, I went to the mirror, sorted out my hair and walked out. IT FELT FUCKING GOOD!!!

Ok, by know I was getting over the shock of the barking tramp, but a block away from the bathhouse, he comes running out dressed in surprisingly good clothes and starts following me slowly. I said to myself: thats it, I'm getting stabbed today, I can already see the headlines: Son of X stabbed in the streets by vexed older homosexual lover Mr. Supertramp. Naturally I wanted to loose him, so I got into a can and paid the driver too much to drive around the block a few times and take me to the tube station, so I got off at waterloo and he was there!! SUPERTRAMP WAS THERE!! so I ran into the first tube and got lost in the crowded compartment, I got out at a random station and took another one to Oxford Circus. I thought I was safe, when behind me I see Santa's head!!! So I lost it and I ran, I ran as fast as I could, and I went to theses random cops I saw walking, and I flipped out, I screamed that there was a freak following me for two tube stations and that I thought he wanted to hurt me!! I pointed him out and they went to speak to him, I followed. Santa was like: "He is my lover, he swear his love to me, we are one now, I will not leave my dear lover, my david" SANTA WAS FUCKING PSYCHO!! My face dropped and I have no idea what verbal diarrhea I told the cops through me tears of frustration. I think they felt sorry for me, so I just asked if they could just hold him back while I disappear, and I was surprised that they agreed (I must have looked like an emotional wreck). So I took a cab to the nearest tub station, took the tube to the end of the line, and then took another taxi to the estate. I was never more relieved!!

I the took a vow of celibacy until I move to my next location. (in a few days) It has been 3 weeks, and I still dont have that eating need to get laid, I think Santa traumatized me, I might get a psychologist. In the coming days I will post the interesting stories that happened before this incident. Word of advice: Keep charity fucks to the minimal, ALWAYS trust your instincts, and DONT EVER trust your curiosity when exploring an unheard off sexual fetish!! I hope all my readers enjoyed this recollection, and are amused by my trauma, no offense, but i will try to not have to write something this similar in the future!! (finger crossed)